Entry: No more energy to be strong Monday, April 02, 2007



It's odd how I have such a huge support system here, being in a college and all....

yet...

With a larger support group...

The less willing am I to really let anyone in..

I fear the feelings of hurt..I fear the feelings of dependancy

And, I miss the people back home...

 

 

   6 comments

tInKy
April 4, 2007   10:46 AM PDT
 
Awww.. thanks to all of you, Jo, Yong, Kai and Ben for your words of encouragement etc..

Hehehe... As jo said, I dont' really feel THAT horrible. Just little fleeting moments when I feel someone is consulting me in sth or whatever, I feel an unconcious emotion to wtihdraw. Then I have this feeling like I can't really trust anyone but the ones back home (this includes Jo). But it's only for like half a second, then I'm fine.

All in all, I am being a happy trooper over here~ I hope you guys are happy and holding on strong too!

Thanks again for all yoru support, assurance and advice. HEHEHE!
Much appreciated :D

Btw, I think ppl playing DOTA with me would hang themselves to death.
Im not strangling MYSELF! :P

Oh... and yes I just so happen to have cut down on my chocolate intake. Interesting theory there. HAHA!

And... Hugging random ppl is a trend in IH. I guess everyone feels a lil dependancy :P

lalalalaala!~
Jo
April 4, 2007   12:36 AM PDT
 
thank god i don't feel any of these emotions. yer.... so many emotions, kinda icky! lolz! and i didn't know males also feel like that. no offense ben, but then again i don't know you so i don't really have the right to say that. it's just that i never imagined a guy to feel as such. i hope you don't take offense.

and i think you shouldn't shut people out. no1 you not giving them a fair chance. no2 it's always good to have more friends. friends only mah... not like lam pan yau or lui pan yao right...
they and you not ngam then too bad lor, not the end of the world right? well maybe when you say shut out you mean like not letting to know you or to be a close friend kind of thing ar? i guess i don't really get it. sigh i don't think i qualify as a friend anymore. and i also don't get the dependancy thing. you depend on others or they depend on you? i would think the latter but you got problem with that meh? 5 straight years as ketua kelas, leo president, heck you're pretty capable of being dependant and responsible. you have a pretty swanky resume you know... are you having chocolate withdrawal symptom or something is it? that's what this is all about? i think you need a nice bar of lindt dark chocolate. 80% would be great i think. or maybe you can get the easter bunny! easter is just round the corner! one good thing about australia is chocs! finished a whole cadbury milk chocolate bar in 2 days lolz and 1.5 litres of milk in 2 days. man i'm gonna be so fat! man i sure like to bullshit! maybe i can pursue phd in bs-ing too eh?

and yong, i just played 3 games of dota! celebrate mah! just finish exam (my roomates finish but i still got one more, MATH1115! i just hope i do the best i can. wonder if that would give me a distinction? lolz i have no idea what to expect) DOTA is good therapy leh. feels great to get kills!

DOTA!!!!

And the lalalalala, i think i was like using it since, forever, so i don't know if i invented it though i highly HIGHLY doubt it...

you miss the people back home, i feel offended! lolz... jkjk i also miss the people back home. but i feel a little weird saying that.

back to work. yes i must listen to yong. she's the smart one.

lalalalala
L'oncle Ben
April 3, 2007   11:01 PM PDT
 
well... when i went thru a rough patch, i had a great support from a group of frens, which are u guys... but like u, i decided to shut u guys out intially... cos i feared the same things as u did.. fear of dependancy mostly... but when time goes by, i feel that the more i shut u guys out, the more i need support from people... and it was then that i start to open myself up, accepting the support you guys give me...

eventually i pulled thru and here i am now... going strong as ever... sometimes, it is appropriate to shut out support from people... but it is not ideal to do it all the time... it is also not good to tackle a problem on your own.. sometimes you really do need help... but it is up to you yourself whether you want to accept the help or support offered or to reject it...

all in all, what i'm trying to say is that you have ot make your own decision whether you want to accept or reject the help or support offered by other people.. no one, and i mean NO ONE can tell you what to do... they can only give suggestions.. human's only freedom is to make their own decision, don't ever let other people take that freedom away from you...
Yong-sama
April 3, 2007   10:32 PM PDT
 
lol i agree wit kai on the sue anne playing dota part haha

aww dear we miss u too.. but u just have to let go a bit and try n get used to things over there.. dun stramgle urself when u have no reason too

n jo.. study la.. lol
kai
April 3, 2007   10:07 PM PDT
 
now that urm i see u say lalala more often... did lalala originate from u ar jo?

ANyway, can't imagine anne playing dota, lol :D

i think dependency is really scary too >< but cheer up dear sue-anne >< life's supposed 2 be full of happy moments *HINT* ><

*lotsa hugs*

i just like to hug ppl.

mayb u can find some1 to hug and suck some energy from the person.

ok crap ><
Jo
April 3, 2007   09:25 AM PDT
 
Do you seriously feel that way? I mean it sounds so scary... What if they hurt me kind of thing is just so unpercievable in my mind. But then again this is just a blog, and i'm sure you don't really feel like that right? Maybe you need to play DOTA to cheer you up! ;p

I like writing nonsense! BTW your mid semester should be coming up so all the best and God bless. Don't slack and play DOTA during the exam period like mua! But seriously may you do well! And make us proud! ;p

Lalalalalalala

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